Seriously.

I think it is crazy that people can be watched and followed for weeks plus and never know it’s going on. Especially when some people are so dense about what they put up on the internet. There are so many people, girls and boys both, who put all this stuff up on their face book and leave it open to the public. You never know what kind of creepos are looking at your pictures, your birth date, your email, and whatever else you have decided to put on there. Also, back when everyone had AOL or AIM, and I know I’m guilty of this, but there was a think you could find just a list of people from different age groups you could talk to. Living in a small town when you’re in middle school with no car or anything brings you to entertain yourselves so we would talk to a bunch of random people just for the hell of it. Because we had nothing better to do. And it was nothing inappropriate-don’t get the wrong idea-it was just funny more than anything I guess. We didn’t think too much about it then but as I got older I realized how stupid we were being. We lied about our age and where we were from most of the time and I can say with confidence a good majority of them were lying about it as well. With all these stories of rape accounts and abductions based on meeting strangers on the internet it seriously astounds me people are still so relaxed about it.

Enough

The idea of domestic violence is terrible to think about. It’s scarier more often then not people don’t even realizing what they are falling into. The abuser is usually very manipulative so the one being abused many times believes that they did something to provoke the abuser and therefore defend the batterers’ actions. I have thankful never been forced to deal with this myself or personally seen it happen to someone I knew directly, but in cases I have heard about, and how they often represent it in the media, the violent partner starts out really sweet in order to gain the trust of the other. Eventually they start building guilt and becoming angry increasingly more. This way the other partner looks past the first few episodes trying to brush them off as a ’one time thing’ or otherwise thinking about the relationship before this point and using that as hope that it will pass or it’s worth it to stay with them for the times when you’re both happy. People who are close with the couple will begin noticing but usually the one being abused is not able to be convinced there is something wrong with the picture. If you guys have never seen the movie Enough with Jennifer Lopez I would definitely recommend it. She plays a mother who is controlled by her abusive husband and eventually learns she has to take control and get herself, as well has her daughter as far away from him as she can.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGCB-USc0uU

A brief history

From the reading “A Brief History of Working Women,” it seems that the Native Americans had the most equal life between men and women than whites or African Americans. In the Native American society women had important parts in the economy and though they still seem to be doing more work, they’re still seen as powerful and an important part of culture. In most Native American cultures, women are very agricultural. They go out and gather plants and herbs in order to produce food as well as create medicines and dyes. However, aside from this ‘housework’ they also work out in the fields, planting seeds, cultivating, harvesting, and in some cultures they even help out with hunting. Although the women play many roles in these societies, they are broader roles that are often times done by men in other cultures. Men are generally the hunters and women typically did agricultural work, but neither was seen as less important than the other. Whichever was more key to “community survival” was more powerful; if it was hunting, men would be seen as a greater asset, if it was agricultural work, women would be of greater importance. In these societies, aside from the fact that women had control of the land and the tools, they also lived by a matrilineal family structure, so the family name and the inheritance came from the women’s side. If more cultures had accepted this way of living, instead of becoming sexist and racist and putting women below everyone else, our society today would be a completely different place.

Household work

In my household chores always seemed to be split pretty evenly to me. I’m the youngest of four kids, two sisters and a brother, and we had chores divided up among us. When it came time to mow the lawn, we would have to switch off. Other than that, we all vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms, helped with dinner, cleaned up after, etc. My parents got divorced when I was four, and though I can’t remember how my they divided it when they were together; I know how they do it now. At my mom’s house I definitely think she does more work than my step dad. He fixes the cars and mows the lawn now that all the kids are gone, but my mom always cleans the house, does the laundry, makes dinner, does the dishes, clears the table after dinner, goes grocery shopping, and I’m sure I’m still forgetting a few things. When I’m home I always help with dinner then help clean up the kitchen afterward, but my step dad, without fail, always leaves his dishes on the table then goes to sit in the other room to watch TV. That definitely has to be one of the things that bothers me the most when I’m home. At my dad’s house they have it sorted out a little more evenly. When my step mom cooks, my dad cleans up, and vice versa. They take turns doing the laundry and cleaning up the house as well as going out to go grocery shopping. I think this way provides a more relaxing household day to day and would help take off the stress from other things.

Family and second chances

What is family? A lot of people define family by what they know well-what they group up with. It might be two moms, two dads, a mom and a dad, four parents, etc. but it’s all family. These are the people that know you best and provide a home. Your family is usually your first trusting relationship and the people you come to when something exciting happens or if you need a shoulder to cry on. Even though many people still think of family as a mother, a father, and children, the many other ways a family can be are starting to become a more accepted idea. The more common these families are and the more familiar we are with them, the more comfortable people will be with the whole idea.

 Switching gears a little but still relating to family, as the video said, “there’s no such thing as an unplanned pregnancy.” Every baby is wanted by somebody, even though that somebody may not be their biological parent. As we saw, there are all kinds of families who are looking for a way to have children, through adoption, artificial insemination, etc. There are so many different reasons people can’t have kids of their own as well as so many children who don’t have a good home, or don’t have a home at all so really there’s no such thing as “oops” babies, to another person or another family they’re a second chance.    

Somebody to love?

I definitely disagree when people try to say people can choose whether or not to be gay. If they could, I don’t think they would be choosing to grow up and live the way they do a lot of the time. Like we talked about in class a little, when we were watching the video you could see how hard different aspects of their lives were with trying to have a family. It sounded like, more than anything, raising children was the hardest thing to do. Often times, like we read and as we heard in the movie, the children are mocked because of their family life, even when they’re straight. If parents were able to choose how to live and who to love I don’t think they would decide to see their children struggle through their school years and on. If people could choose who they fall in love with you would think they would decide to be with the person they could marry and get the usual benefits from by doing so. I just don’t understand the reasoning behind the logic when people actually believe that it’s a decision you can make out of free will. Things just don’t seem to add up when you look at all the pros and cons and the different aspects of being a heterosexual couple versus being in a homosexual relationship.   

Every boy and every girl- spice up your life

Speaking of female rock stars and ‘girl power’, I feel that the Spice Girls couldn’t have been avoided. They were the symbol of girl power and everybody loved them and all the sassiness and spunk they brought to the music industry. After being found and making an impact in Britain, they began becoming very popular in the United States as well. They were a big part of girl power ten or so years ago and definitely influence the confidence of kids. To see them, for example in their movie Spice World, always so sure of themselves, gave girls something positive to look up to; aside from their short skirts and smaller shirts of course. It’s the idea that they can joke with each other and laugh at themselves then get on stage and perform in front of thousands of people with almost a sort of arrogance about them.  As this article states, the adult actions, clothes, what have you, went over the heads of these kids. They looked up to the ones, like baby spice, that acted like they did themselves.

http://www.york.ac.uk/admin/presspr/pressreleases/spice.htm

you make my dreams come truee

I think the girls rock camp is a really good thing to have for younger girls with dreams of becoming a star. So many girls have this dream and many times their parents tell them that they’re just dreams and it’s never actually going to come true. The only example of this I can think of off the top of my head that people would actually know is the part in the beginning of the movie Taken. When the main character was a little girl she had dreams of becoming a singer. While her mom never took these dreams seriously, her dad took them to heart. On her seventeenth birthday her dad buys her a karaoke machine in order to encourage her to follow her dreams. He worked as a body guard one night for a singer his daughter really liked and, after saving her life, she gave him numbers to her vocal coach, etc. to pass on to his daughter. This is how parents should be encouraging their children, not going about it in a way that makes it seem like a childish dream. However, there are many parents out there who do really believe in their kids and help them accomplish whatever they need to. Misty’s girls rock camp is a really nice place where girls can be with others who share the same, or similar, dreams, discover new self confidence, and find new talents they may not have known they had before.      

In search of the elusive orgasm

The article, “In Search of the Elusive Orgasm” seems to stick with the idea that I believe we have talked about in class before; how people read or see movies, etc. on how things work or how people are supposed to look and so on. The media gives girls a specific image they feel like they must live up to. Magazines paint a picture of the ideal girl in the male brain like movies give girls this perfect guy to search for. In this article, it’s romance novels that give Lisa Miya-Jervis her idea of sex and ‘the big O’. These ideas, images, events, what have you, will always seem simple and easy in text because they aren’t real. Things are very rarely going to be how you imagine them; your husband/wife, your first time, your wedding…they’re all great in your head but many times people let this idea sink in too much then experience disappointment when things don’t turn out exactly as they had originally planned. Not to say these things can’t be amazing experiences, but like in Miya-Jervis’ case, these ideas can stay with you no matter what you do to try to change your mind.

Prue shows her knickers

“Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.”
Rene Yasenek

For Prue, the moment she kissed Andy Easter and showed him “her knickers” allowed her, for at least one instant, to see nothing wrong with herself. All of her traumatizing memories, the hours she was required to spend in “Button and Bows” class and the progression of the disfiguration of her body seem to be forgotten. Not even crossing her mind, at least for the moment. After this moment they were alone I’m sure all her negative thoughts came right back into her conscience, but the fact she was able to rid her mind of them for a few seconds seems strangely romantic to me. This was definitely one of my favorite articles we have read. It was just a really cute story to me; the way she described how brave she felt when she could see how scared he really was underneath it all. The only thing I didn’t really like was how Prue’s community, class, etc, treated her because of solely her physical disorder. I also didn’t like how she used ‘cripple’ and ‘limitations’ because I feel like it shouldn’t be seen as something that physicality limits what she may achieve now or later. Overall, I really enjoyed this reading. It was touching to say the least.

Love yourself

It’s crazy how much our society today looks at appearance and how we judge people solely based on their size. More often than not, I feel like these people don’t really have control on if they’re bigger. If your parents are, then you probably will be as well and there isn’t anything you can do about, nor should you feel like you should do something about it. I know plenty of overweight people and honestly, they have more confidence then I do by far. It’s sad how our society will choose their friends based on how they may look. I enjoyed reading the article Love Your Fat Self, by Courtney E. Martin, because it was refreshing, for lack of a better word, that the woman, Gareth, was so confident and successful no matter what people were saying to her. She was an all around good person with a positive, uplifting personality and when people would try to tell her otherwise she would do her best to simply ignore the comment and not allow it to eat at her. Many  people could take a lot out of this article and the example Gareth sets for everyone around her.

The way it was

The reading of The Way It Was, by Eleanor Cooney, stood out to me the most of all the readings this week. I don’t know what it was about it but it just seemed eye opening more than anything I guess. Personally, I have never had to deal with a pregnancy so it’s hard to imagine how you would react when put into that situation. As I think I might have mentioned before, I know many, many girls who have already had kids or gotten abortions, etc. and they all handled it differently. My sister got pregnant when she was nineteen and knew right away she was going to keep the child. A friend of mine got pregnant senior year in high school and after a couple weeks she got to an abortion clinic and had it aborted safely without her parents ever knowing and she’s still content with her decision. Another friend from high school got pregnant and while she wanted to have it and give it up for adoption, her boyfriend insisted she took a pill to take care of it, that’s the route she took and hasn’t stopped regretting it yet. Several other girls I went to high school with have all had kids in the past two years and kept them and are now living with their parents or living with their boyfriends. My point is when teenage girls get pregnant they shouldn’t be afraid, they should feel more comfortable knowing all the choices available to them so no matter what they choose to do, they can do it safely.    

Allstate commercials

I’m pretty sure everyone has seen the Allstate commercials of mayhem. They’re really funny but a couple of them are kinda sexist. There is the ‘jogger mayhem’ that says, “I’m a hot babe out jogging. I’m out making sure that this stays a 10, when you pass by.” The commercial goes on to show a boy who gets distracted and crashes his car when he sees this “hot babe” going for a run. The part when he says he’s making sure ‘her’ body stays a ten is the part that stood out the most to me. It’s not ‘staying in shape’ or something, it’s staying a ten, putting ‘her’ body on a scale, like how you would hear in a middle school boys conversation about the girls in their school. It’s obviously funnier to hear him word it this way, especially since it’s a grown man playing a young girl. The ‘pink SUV mayhem” is definitely more obvious than the jogger example. A link to both commercials is at the bottom of this post but in this commercial, the actor that is in all of them is driving a pink SUV texting on his phone, again portraying a teenage girl. There are a couple different versions of this one. In one he starts it out by saying, “I’m a typical teenage girl” then his phone goes off and he crashes into a parked car. In another one he’s driving when he gets a text from a friends saying her friend likes the guy ‘she’ likes so ‘she’s’ “emotionally  compromised” and then crashes into the car. I know these commercials are made to make people laugh and grab their attention, and they definitely do that but I can see how some people could get upset about them. I personally don’t find these commercials offensive at all, I just thought it was interesting how much more stands out when I actually paid attention to them.

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFVpaQGltrI&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Sjld5yy3Q&feature=related

A little too much?

When I was reading the article, If Men Could Menstruate by Gloria Steinem, I couldn’t help but keep thinking the point Steinem was making was kind of over exaggerated. I do agree that some things would probably be different in some aspects, but it’s hard for me to imagine it would be that drastic. If it was men who got their period I don’t think it would be anything to brag about more than it is now; and personally, I can’t remember the last time I heard a girl bragging that she had her period. It would still be just as uncomfortable and men would feel just as gross as women do when they have it now. Sure commercials would be different, without a doubt. Instead of women dancing or playing tennis, they would make them more ‘macho’ with a more powerful feel and men playing football. Men don’t brag about, for example, wet dreams or something. They’re just another part of life; like menstruating would be. If men had been getting their period since the beginning, instead of women, it might have been how Steinem describes in her article a few hundred years ago, however, I don’t think it would be such a boastful thing now if that’s the way we had all grown up. Men would probably talk about it with their guy friends, as girls do now, but when girls were around it would be something they would only briefly mention, if at all. I can see where Steinem’s coming from with some of the ideas in this article, but as a whole it’s pretty out there.   

Your body-your body-your body image

 

All the articles we have read so far seem to be focusing on how the Disney princesses are affecting young girl’s attitudes, morals, and when these authors talk about effects on children physically I feel like they are solely looking at girls wanting to be prettier or have the hair, everything besides their weight. Of everything to be gained subconsciously from these princesses, if anything, I would consider body image to be the biggest concern; especially with the social world today. Though it may have an effect on these kid’s attitudes, etc. I definitely think a large part of that comes from how parents raise their children and what they’re taught growing up. However, some of the stuff shown in Disney movies can affect them while they don’t even realize it-like body image. I never really noticed it when I was little, but as I started getting older I started recognizing how teeny tiny these princesses are; and with the social standards where they are today, I would think it would have more effect than ever. Parents who loved Disney and all that kind of stuff when they were kids say that they never really started noticing until they themselves became parents; that’s when they started getting really cautious about it. I’m not a parent, but my sister had a baby about two years ago and I watch her a lot when I’m home for the summer. Since I’ve started watching her, I’ve realized stuff, like the way body image is portrayed, increasingly more often. Bringing kids up to be more confident about their bodies should take more of the focus than the rest of the impact princesses may have on them.     

Mixed up realities

Social norms are becoming increasingly more sexually demanding as the years go on. Jessica Valenti talks a lot about this in her article Pop Culture Gone Wild. The expectations women are expected to live up get higher and higher and more and more sexual with every new singer or actress, etc. Like Valenti states in her article, “when you’re trying to be sexy, virginal, available but not, appropriately lesbian but still straight, skinny, hot, and so on, all of a sudden life ain’t so fun anymore.” There are so many different titles girls are being asked to live up to sooner or later they’re not going to know who they are anymore without them. There seem to be more teen pregnancies now than I could ever remember before. At least nine girls from my graduating class in high school have either been pregnant and gotten an abortion, or now have children they’re raising with help from their boyfriends and families. There is media out there showing how life changing it is if you’re not careful, for example, Juno and Teen Mom. Hopefully girls will soon start realizing there’s more to life than living up to others expectations and begin doing things for themselves.

Baby X

A couple years ago in high school my psych teacher talked about an experiment on a baby where nobody, including its parents, knew its sex. When I got home that day I had to look it up because I was so intrigued so I figured at least some of you would be at least a little interested as well. Plus it relates nicely. This baby was called X and the parents who volunteered to raise this child, never knowing the sex, were given an instruction manual to follow very carefully. Baby X’s parents, the Joneses, were strictly instructed which words they were able to praise and encourage their child with, the toys it was given and the games it played. I’ll post the link for the whole story at the end of this blog so you can see what happened for yourself when X was sent to public school. I find this story so interesting because people really don’t pay attention to how much they control the things their kids like and find socially acceptable. Like the article says when friends visited, without knowing the sex of the baby, ‘they couldn’t say, “Look at her cute little dimples!” And they couldn’t say, “Look at his husky little biceps!” The Joneses were told to dress it in neutral clothing and get it into all kinds of sports and activities. This story is fascinating to me because of the outcome of baby X’s school experience.  

http://coe.k-state.edu/about/download/profdev/X%20story.pdf

Education or Fornication?

“It is at this time that their academic achievements begin to decrease as they are coerced into compulsory heterosexuality and trained dependency upon a man, that is, for economic survival.” This blurb is from the Homophobia reading by Suzanne Pharr. As it was written in 1997, I don’t exactly know where she is coming from. As I said in class, I can’t remember ever feeling as if my purpose of going to school was to find a man to provide for me. I don’t believe anyone I knew really felt that way either, even with the understanding that it, in most cases, wouldn’t be a direct statement to the child. I feel like if that were the case we would realize it now looking back and college wouldn’t be such an important time. On the other hand, I do realize that in some families that is the main objective, whether it’s directly told or they do it subconsciously. I found this article online and though it doesn’t directly relate to going to school to find a man to depend on, it instead focuses on how women are still dependent on men. Most of these ideas are different than what they used to be, but they still all focus on the central idea of women’s dependence on men. The ideas given in the article seem to be much more realistic than the idea of going to school to find someone to marry.

http://www.empowher.com/mental-health/content/why-are-women-still-dependent-men?page=0,0

Response to "A Day Without Feminism"

Everyone knows some history about women, but when I read “A Day Without Feminism” by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards, I would be lying if I said it didn’t shock me a little. It’s strange to think how much has changed since the 70’s. I can’t even imagine growing up when many of our parents did, when men basically weren’t allowed to watch after kids. I don’t know if it would be harder to be an adult or a child in those days. Teenagers and adult women had to deal with crappy birth control and unaffordable or no child care. Men were not trusted to be with kids and therefore were not allowed to teach classes below the sixth grade. This also meant they couldn’t spend as much time with their own children. If you were a kid back then, there were books that were socially accepted or not depending on your sex. At school or in their free time girls weren’t allowed to play baseball or take high math classes. Instead, women were put in charge of planning, decorating and cheering on the boy’s sports teams. Even now there are no women football teams or wrestling teams. Though many girls would still turn these down just by their own choice, these aren’t even an option through childhood let alone when you reach high school. I feel like a lot of people take what we have now for granted. Reading this article really allowed me to see how thankful I really should be that I can read the books I choose and go to school, not to meet a husband, but for a career to build my own family off of.